Tonight, my aunt and uncle came over for dinner. What was the topic of conversation you ask? College.
Henrietta, where are you going to college? What do you want to major in? Do you want to go to graduate school? What do you want to be in life? What do you want to name your first-born child? These questions are rather nerve-racking. And there’s something y’all don’t know about me, I worry…about everything. So really, asking me all of these questions really isn’t helping me be a normal functioning person.
Now all I can think about is how I’m going to be homeless because I don’t know where I want to go to college or what I want to be, and because of that I’m going to develop a horrible drug addiction, because I won’t be able to live anywhere and I won’t have any money because no one hires crack heads to work for them.
I might be overreacting..just a little bit.
But really, everyone shoving college down my throat like it’s Thanksgiving turkey is killing me. Maybe I want to become a starving artist? or maybe I want to go to the Olympics? I mean I’d have to pick up painting to be a starving artist..and i’d probably have to pick up table tennis to be an Olympian…I guess college is the best option. But damn, my cranium is about to explode with all of this college talk.
You know what would solve all of this? If I was psychic,because then I would know what would happen and everything would be magical. I should work on making that happen.Soon.
Twilight Daydreams 
“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar, Chapter 7”
Your post reminded me of this excerpt, which inspired a tattoo I wear on my shoulder of a June Bug on a fig leaf. I never knew what I wanted, and I still want it all. Luckily, God plopped me right into a life I adore in every way. I found myself at 25. Don’t let people convince you that the only time is now. And don’t let anyone tell you to spend a ton of money on school before you know what you want from it. It’s much easier and less expensive to experiment with ideas in community college. Plus, professors in community college have a bunch of adult students and will be more respectful. Many 1st/2nd-year professors in state schools treat you like a 5 year old regardless of the fact that you pay their salary, because most 18-20 year olds haven’t realized their power in the marketplace yet.