Tag Archives: Highschool

Why Not the Gift of Intelligence?

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Hello again lovelies!This past week I went to go see Maleficent with my  super cute boyfriend, Taylor the Latte Boy, and overall it was a pretty neat movie but I have one major complaint.

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Throughout the entire movie, I couldn’t help but think that Sleeping Beauty was probably one of the biggest dunces in all of fairytale history…well besides Snow White.  All Sleeping Beauty ever wanted to do was wander through the Moor and be friends with all the fairies and terrifyingly hideous tree people! Sleeping Beauty  wanted to run away from the charmingly quaint cottage she lived in with her three aunties, who sacrificed the ability to fly to take care of her cursed self for sixteen years,  to go run off into the arms of the woman who cursed her? Capital idea Sleeping Beauty! Round of applause!

Furthermore, that girl needed a Sassy Gay Friend to tell her that running off  after being told she’s cursed probably wasn’t the  best  idea she’s ever had. Honestly, you find out you’re cursed and you choose to go to the one place in the kingdom that has all of the spindles? Also, why weren’t they all destroyed? There was literally a room full of the one item that would cause her to fall into a deep sleep…a.k.a. a coma! C’mon King Phillip, get with the program. Those spindles were no where near destroyed. Tsk. Tsk.

Lastly, when the three aunties were giving her gifts, why couldn’t they have given her the Gift of Intelligence? They gave her the gift of beauty and to be loved by everyone, but not to have common sense? The Gift of Intelligence would have  come in handy for her, especially when  she walked the woods alone at night…didn’t she know about the Big Bad Wolf? No common sense, I tell ya! Sleeping Beauty also would have known how to talk to people other than her aunties and fairies…that scene with the prince was cringe worthy! She became a mute..because of a boy asking for directions! Also, I find that being loved by everyone would also have it’s setbacks…for example, stalkers? They basically gave her the gift of stalkers. Good job aunties!

Y’all I haven’t been able to stop ranting about her lack of intelligence to my boyfriend…and it’s been a week. It really did a number on me and I just had to share it with you.

Pretty Little Liars: Why All the Gasping?

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watch-pretty-little-liarsPretty Little Liars came out on Netflix! I was really excited about it because I believed I could be Nancy Drew and figure out who A is! But alas, no such luck. I haven’t given up hope, though! But there are some things in the show that I just don’t understand.

Such as, why didn’t they go to the police when they received the first A text? I never understood why they would keep letting themselves be blackmailed. Why would they keep that a secret when it led to their best friend being murdered? The police have more resources than they do. If they had, they would have never been arrested…multiple times.Their records are pretty lengthy by now.

Also, why do people believe them when they say they’re okay after giving their phone a wide eyed deer in the headlights look? Saying it’s your mom or dad who texted you is the worst lie in the city of Liarville. Worst. They could tone down the gasping too. It looks much too suspicious and it worries me that they might have asthma.

And really, if one is trying to keep one’s illicit affair with one’s teacher a secret, I recommend not making out in the middle of Town Square and also not getting in fights at school…where one of them works…that’s less than secretive.

Also, they seriously need to lock their freaking doors. Why would you leave them unlocked when someone is trying to kill you? That’s an actual death wish. And for the love of God they need to check their closets for evil conniving  black hoodie wearing murderers! There has been more than one occasion where that’s where A was hiding. Did they never read mystery novels as children? Like Nancy Drew, for instance?

Lastly, what’s up with all the gorgeous older men in that town falling in love with a bunch of teenage girls? Is there something in the water? Because I mean damn, that’s super illegal kids.

I have to keep watching it, though. They’ve sucked me into the void! I can’t not know who A is…shame on you, ABC Family!

Netflix,Stabbings and Decapitation aren’t Romantic

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Lately I’ve been watching foreign romances on Netflix…and they are the most tragically depressing movies I have ever  seen.

In the last two days I’ve watched a movie about how an impoverished Indian woman receives a job at a hotel from a mysterious British hotelier to save her family from losing their house. Very heroic of her I would say. So they fall in love like people do, but soon after the happy dandy honeymoon phase is over, he starts to become more of a demanding asshat up to the point where she stabs him and herself. Like okay what. I was expecting them to run off together  and get married. To be happy.She would become a dancer and he would become a cinematic director. But that is the complete opposite of what happened. There was no happiness in this movie.

I figured it was just a one off, I didn’t expect to watch another horribly sad and heart-wrenching movie the next day…but I did. This movie was about a queen who had an affair with her husband’s handsome physician, which really I should have known it  all would just go downhill from there…but being the hopeful person I am I still had hope for them! The queen soon became pregnant with the physician’s baby, which meant she had to start visiting the king’s bedchamber again so no one would guess she was having an affair. They thought no one would ever find out about them…but a red-haired power-seeking hag  did. She and the Cabinet forced the Queen into exile and they tortured the physician until he confessed, he was soon then killed…his last thought was of her..that just about killed me. The King was forced down from the throne as well, which is good, he was a terrible king. But basically, there was no happiness in this movie except for the birth of the princess. I should have known that it would end terribly, the majority of the movie was gray lighting…that’s never ever a good sign. Sigh.

I’m just never again going to watch a “romantic” foreign movie from Netflix. Because what they really should be called are Heartbreakingly Tragic Foreign movies, not romantic. Decapitation is less than romantic.