Tag Archives: rant

Why Not the Gift of Intelligence?

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Hello again lovelies!This past week I went to go see Maleficent with my  super cute boyfriend, Taylor the Latte Boy, and overall it was a pretty neat movie but I have one major complaint.

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Throughout the entire movie, I couldn’t help but think that Sleeping Beauty was probably one of the biggest dunces in all of fairytale history…well besides Snow White.  All Sleeping Beauty ever wanted to do was wander through the Moor and be friends with all the fairies and terrifyingly hideous tree people! Sleeping Beauty  wanted to run away from the charmingly quaint cottage she lived in with her three aunties, who sacrificed the ability to fly to take care of her cursed self for sixteen years,  to go run off into the arms of the woman who cursed her? Capital idea Sleeping Beauty! Round of applause!

Furthermore, that girl needed a Sassy Gay Friend to tell her that running off  after being told she’s cursed probably wasn’t the  best  idea she’s ever had. Honestly, you find out you’re cursed and you choose to go to the one place in the kingdom that has all of the spindles? Also, why weren’t they all destroyed? There was literally a room full of the one item that would cause her to fall into a deep sleep…a.k.a. a coma! C’mon King Phillip, get with the program. Those spindles were no where near destroyed. Tsk. Tsk.

Lastly, when the three aunties were giving her gifts, why couldn’t they have given her the Gift of Intelligence? They gave her the gift of beauty and to be loved by everyone, but not to have common sense? The Gift of Intelligence would have  come in handy for her, especially when  she walked the woods alone at night…didn’t she know about the Big Bad Wolf? No common sense, I tell ya! Sleeping Beauty also would have known how to talk to people other than her aunties and fairies…that scene with the prince was cringe worthy! She became a mute..because of a boy asking for directions! Also, I find that being loved by everyone would also have it’s setbacks…for example, stalkers? They basically gave her the gift of stalkers. Good job aunties!

Y’all I haven’t been able to stop ranting about her lack of intelligence to my boyfriend…and it’s been a week. It really did a number on me and I just had to share it with you.

Hormonal Fiends.

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Yesterday, while trying to quickly finish my Spanish assignment before the last bell rang, I overheard a conversation between a group of fiendish hormonal boys. They were discussing what they liked in their “chicks,” but did any of it have to do with personality? Whatsoever? No. It only had to do with the size of the girl’s breasts and arse. Because apparently that’s the only important thing when it comes to dating a girl.

These boys are about fourteen, they’re tiny whippersnappers and they’re talking about how they’re only interested in having sex with girls and nothing else. I’m just sitting there thinking that how in the world are they going to have sex? They can’t drive, they’re literally five feet tall, they have the worst body odor, and I would bet my life that they would pee themselves if given a sexual opportunity. But most of all, what self-respecting girl would go out with them? They’re dogs. Rabid, hormonal, degrading, dogs.

They talked about girls as if our only purpose in life is to be attractive to them. It felt like I had transported back to early Qing China, where the woman’s only purpose was to be pretty and have children.

I was literally about to thrash them upside the head with my textbook.
But then the bell rang.
Lucky for them.